Last week we began our discussion on Leadership as a critical component to achieving success. Today, we’ll discuss four key concepts necessary to become a better leader.
The following discussion points are developed based primarily on my opinion, save some scientific information about our brain and nervous system. You may or may not agree in part or whole with what I write. That’s OK. Hopefully you will draw your own conclusions in a thoughtful manner that will ultimately inspire you to take action to become a better leader than you are today. There is no exact science to determining what another’s best interests are. Knowing what is best for others is not easy and can be filled with incorrect assumptions, inappropriate actions and one-way or two-way misunderstandings.
Think about a few variables that likely become part of this effort to do what is best for others.
Passion
One meaning of passion is that of a ‘strong interest’, and potentially a strong interest in seeking the truth. Seeking the truth about someone’s best interests requires knowing the individual at a deeper level necessitating significant effort. Knowing that person better enables you to help them with what they need to achieve their best. If a sales rep (who reports to you) has a specific desire to succeed, you should know that. If he or she also has an unusual handicap that could hinder him or her under normal circumstances, it would be very helpful if you knew that so you could help them overcome it. That way your sales rep will reach more of his or her unique potential and be more successful. That is passion for getting to the truth and a part of true leadership!
Empathy
Being empathetic is hard. Without really knowing an individual and their situation, how can we possibly be truly empathetic? Life’s lumps help us get to a point of empathy for others, but short of that, we must be very intentional about getting to know people. If that previously mentioned sales rep’s handicap would definitely prevent him or her from achieving their best, shouldn’t I do what I could to help them overcome it? Let’s use a simple example and say that the problem was related to hearing low pitch sounds (speech included). If I mumble all the time when communicating with that person, will I be helping or hindering their progress? Exactly! If I have shown the passion to find out the truth about them, the next step as a leader is to put myself in their shoes.
After understanding what they are going through we can then help by making intentional efforts to improve how we communicate with them; ‘Please don’t mumble with me or I will miss the incredible wisdom that you are attempting to impart to me.’
The same applies to customers and understanding their challenges. Remember, we are supposed to work in their best interest. That may require a measure of courage to tell them that what they are asking for is not best practice or not the optimal way of doing what needs to be accomplished.
Communication
According to surveys communication is the number one success factor. How, if I communicate poorly, can I know and understand with compassion what an individual’s goals and aspirations are. Without fully engaging in effective two–way communication I will never get there. We have two ears and one mouth. Shouldn’t we then be listening more than talking? I believe God planned it that way.
There are a variety of factors that make effective communication difficult. Those factors can come in the form of both verbal and written communication and can be applied equally. Because we communicate in various ways, it is important to understand differences and not only recognize them but allow for them by our acceptance of those differences. If we don’t communicate with an open mind, we will “hear” what is being communicated via our own speaker system. If someone is in Stadium mode and we can only hear in Concert Hall mode, we may be prone to misunderstanding. The following six (6) varying communication styles illustrate some simple contrasts to be cognizant of while exchanging information (communicating) with others.
1. Finish – This communicator wants to find the most direct path to the goal line. “Let’s net this out” and get to the final destination as quickly and succinctly as possibly. There is likely little room for eloquence in this communicator’s monologue or dialogue.
2. Let’s Talk Awhile – This communicator is more of a talker, who enjoys conversation and likes to relax a bit more during conversations (written or verbal). The engagement itself is where the real value is to this individual.
Conclusion: These styles are contrasting and could prove difficult for one or both communicators, both emotionally as well as getting a point across or understanding one.
3. Emote – This communicator is more emotional and expressive during communication. Showing emotion is a key part of making their point or showing their understanding. Doesn’t mean that they are either upset or overjoyed, but simply that they are expressive of emotions during exchanges.
4. Facts Only – This person wants to stick to the facts and leave the feelings and opinions out of the conversation. At least, so they think. The difficulty with this idealistic approach is that most people “sticking to the facts” provide bias and prejudice along with the facts that color both the conversation and the facts.
Conclusion: Ever been in this conversation where you may be feeling expressive and get a cold, hard- facts person to interact with? How did that feel?
5. Trigger Happy – This person can’t wait to tell you what they are thinking and so does a whole lot of out loud thinking. Likely not hearing, even when listening, this communicator will interrupt if in a verbal exchange and not take into full consideration what others are writing to them when responding. The “yes, but” style can break down effective communication in a hurry and confound the other person very quickly. This doesn’t indicate ill intent necessarily, but can be a barrier to effectiveness.
6. Fair – When one waits their turn and doesn’t jump in with both feet, they are being considerate and likely very intentionally attempting to hear what is being said. Not a guarantee, but more likely to hear without both feet in their mouth.
Conclusion: Fair could appear to be dominated by Trigger Happy, but don’t kid yourself. Being intentional, thoughtful and calculated can be a very effective means of communicating.
Communication comes in a variety of forms and presents numerous challenges. Effectiveness of communication styles really depends on the situation and the other person’s ability to understand what is being communicated. I’m not sure that my preferences are correct and, in fact, I am pretty certain that I could be completely wrong a significant amount of time when making that call. Do you believe that we have two ears and only one mouth for a reason? I am not certain why God made us that way, but I think it is because listening and more than that, hearing is a Critical Success Factor. Next week, we will tackle the key concepts surrounding listening and hearing.