. . . Is Motivated by Loving Concern over Personal Gain
Each and every one of us is born with a nature that puts ourselves first. None of us can honestly deny that. When we desire to become true leaders in the sense of servant leadership, we have to intentionally, consciously and continuously work at overcoming that natural instinct to be “number one”. For me there is really only one broad concept that fits the bill of properly describing how to overcome this powerful and innate obstacle. We must intentionally, consciously and continuously renew our minds with thoughts that change the way we naturally react to these circumstances and situations. After that we have to practice what we have taken in. Over, and over, and over again we must repeat the practices of effective leadership. We may not always do so or do so to our best, but we must stay with it to improve. Becoming a better leader is not something we are born with. We may be born with a desire to lead, but we can only become better at leading through continuous effort.
Our autonomic nervous system is where our emotions come from. We don’t control our emotions directly. We can try to contain them, hide them, or deny them but we can’t directly control the emotions themselves. When I get angry, I am angry. I can attempt to manage that anger, but I can’t directly prevent it from occurring when it begins to emote. When happy, I am happy in the same way.
Our autonomic nervous system is like a computer. The software loaded into a computer determines what it will do and how it will calculate input. If we load bad software into a computer, we often get undesirable results that need to be corrected. Our ANS is no different than a computer (so to speak). If we are constantly thinking about self, self, self and no one else, it will be very difficult to be an effective servant leader.
…Is More Concerned About the People than the Position
If my fame (position/title) comes before the job I have to do as a leader, I will lose sight of what I really should be focusing on, which is the success of my team (others). When job comes first, how can people, customers and company succeed? The upside down triangle or funnel that I often use for illustration is a matter of leadership focus. My methodology is to have the funnel turned upside down with people at the top, customers in the middle and company at the bottom. he wide opening of the upside down funnel is what I consider my opportunity for success. It is much wider than if reversed. Nowhere in that funnel appears the words “me” or “I”.
Focusing on people first will motivate those people to focus on customers. hey will care more because they are cared for. They will provide better service, ideas for success and generally a stronger partner relationship. The customers will in turn provide reward for the company in the form of repeat business, good references and expanding product ideas.
…Possesses the Confidence to Serve
A major factor that prevents people from being good leaders is their reluctance to ask for help. Everyone needs help to improve his or her performance, capabilities and effectiveness. The real challenge is that some do not want to ask for help because they lack the confidence and/or the courage to do so. They likely fear being viewed as incompetent or incapable of carrying out their responsibilities effectively. The truth is that those not asking for help are the ones who lack something and will be unable to serve others well in a leadership capacity.
Through the years I have seen many people in leadership positions who were simply not willing to seek help. We can speculate why that happens but since we all are unique it may be hard to determine. From my own experience, I can tell you that when I did not ask for help I didn’t want to look inept or unworthy of my position.
In high school I hated asking for help and was a pretty average student because I didn’t take advantage of that learning opportunity. The basis for that was not really well–founded. In essence, I simply lacked the confidence to ask. Until I gained that confidence it was more important to look good in the eyes of everyone around me (insecurity) so that I had a level of security about my position. That security was false.
I remember being at sales conferences and looking at other sales people and thinking that they must have something special that I don’t have. They must be better sales people than I. Eventually I learned that I was wrong. I was viewing the world through glasses that were not yet “fear-resistant”. Not that I don’t still have fear, mind you. But now, I deal with my fear much differently. I am essentially comfortable being uncomfortable.
For us to be able to serve as leaders we have to be confident doing certain things (and really mean it) to genuinely lead. A few of those things include:
Giving others the credit instead of taking it ourselves
Trusting others to do their job effectively
Allowing others to make mistakes when trying to do the right thing
Taking some arrows for the team to shelter them
Being able to accept other ways of doing things
Putting others in the spotlight to allow them to shine.
Only when we become confident with whom we are, and confident that we are doing our best to lead effectively, will we be able to serve others in a leadership capacity.