I am embarking on a series of blogs that will be inspired by the writing of my mentor John Maxwell coupled with my own life experiences.  I need a growth spurt so have decided to commit to a 15-blog series where I will write a commentary on John’s book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. I hope that both you and I enjoy it and find it valuable. 

Law 1: The Law Of Intentionality – Growth Doesn’t Just Happen

Let’s begin by you asking yourself and answering these two simple questions:

1. What am I doing to develop myself?

2. What am I doing to develop others?      

For me, it was imperative that I did this sequentially and started with the most fundamental change needed – myself.  That took a very long time and is still in process today.  Only after making self-adjustments and improvements was I able to begin to help develop others.  Even then, I made many mistakes during my early years of teaching, coaching, managing and raising children.  I still cringe at many of the things that I did to others and for others that were well-intended but misdirected.

Growing with intent puts you on a path that continues throughout your life that will never stop when you understand it.  If you are going to build toward who you want to be, you will improve on purpose.  No one grows by accident.  There is a difference between getting older and getting better. You must have a plan for improvement.

James Allen “People are anxious to improve their circumstances but unwilling to improve themselves; they, therefore, remain bound.”  Einstein said:  “The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results.”  I know, you have likely seen that written by me and others many times before.  The reason I believe that is so important is that it is easy to get glued to where we are in our comfortable shoes, which makes it extremely difficult to go barefoot and march into a place we have never been.

The most significant gap in the world is the space between knowing and doing. The knowing-doing gap. I took a leadership course in grad school that focused on that gap.  The author of The Knowing-Doing Gap was someone I felt was unconventional but at the same time spot on with his declarations.  We say the right things and know them, but we don’t always do them. Can you relate? I can!

John discusses Growth Gaps in his book.  I am going to spin these based on my experiences to hopefully give you a very life-like perspective.  The Growth Gaps include:

1. The Assumption Gap.  Assuming growth will occur automatically.  Most people accept their lives versus lead their lives. When I was in high school, I decided that I wanted to live differently than I currently was.  I often talk about the “upside of upside down.” I came to realize that I would not automatically grow and have a different life.

2. The Knowledge Gap.  Many don’t grow because they don’t know how. We must build our curriculum.  A plan is critical.  I grew up in a poor, uneducated rural Vermont family.  I paid the price repeatedly for my ignorance.  Many times, I wanted to hide so that no one could see me or know how truly ignorant I was.  I now know that the downside of my lack of education was an upside to me becoming motivated to change my life.  That doesn’t happen to everyone, so I know I need to be thankful for that experience.

3. The Timing Gap.  This gap encompasses the law of diminishing intent.  The longer you wait to do what you should do today, the less likely you will ever do it.  Some call it procrastination.  Some call it laziness.  Some call it fears.  Whatever it is, it must begin with intent.  I often teach what I refer to as the IE Quotient.  The IE Quotient represents the concept of Inspiration + Execution = Results.  Being intentional goes beyond inspiration.  It must also include execution.  Inspiration without execution remains an inspiration.  Fantasy is seldom what keeps people in the timing gap and thwarts their intentions to improve.  I realized in high school that I needed to make some changes to change my life.  I couldn’t just dream it anymore; I had to begin taking action by doing things differently.

4. The Mistake Gap.  Who amongst us enjoys making mistakes? I’ve made many and honestly, had I not realized the benefit of errors, I am not sure what my life would be like today.  No one likes making mistakes, but if we understand the lessons learned, we value mistakes for the long-term good. As I left my comfort zone, I still had a significant hurdle to overcome.  I did not enjoy failure and in fact would prefer denying it to facing it.  But since I want to continue to improve and not only get older, I more and more can admit my failure.  John also wrote a tremendous book on this subject entitled Failing Forward which defines failures as stepping stones to success.  What would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail? I’ll bet your list would be a long one!

When I was in high school, I decided that I wanted to live differently than I currently was.  I didn’t know how to do that.  But then I started taking chances and stepping out of my comfort zone and began moving away from the lifestyle that I wanted to leave behind.  I have never stopped that process.  When I made that decision as an insecure, scared teenager, I began a lifelong journey that I don’t plan to end.  Sure, there have been setbacks, and there always will be with some of them being major derailments.  I will address those in my blog for Law #7, Turning Pain to Gain.  In fact, there were many embarrassing moments for me along my path of growth.  But, I haven’t given up and refuse to settle for who I currently am.  Even today, as I approach what most consider retirement age, if I become comfortable with my life, I step out of my comfort zone to take on something just out of my reach to stretch myself again.  When I feel I am becoming comfortable, it makes me uncomfortable. If I’m not yet dead I will not yet be done! What is your story?