Yearend delivers more than gifts. It also drops on us some unexpected conclusions. That means the new year requires decisions to be made. Those determinations are not always as resolutions are, they may be life or business altering and requiring major changes. There may be events as minor as new rules and increased fees in your HOA, or as major as contracts not being renewed by a client or jobs eliminated. Whatever the occurrence, large or small, they will require thought, planning and frequently doing things differently. Well, it is a new year after all! We are supposed to expect the unexpected and stay positive about it. Isn’t every circumstance meant to be for our good, even if hard to swallow?
You have no doubt read or heard the expression “Life’s a bitch and then you die”, with the meaning that life is difficult and then it’s over. That is something to look forward to! Are you jacked up yet? Of course not! The sad reality is that January carries the highest suicide rate of any month. So, right now, you may be going through some difficulties that don’t seem like another more positive expression “Life’s a beach and then you die.” Losing a job at this time of year is difficult for those who lose them. And I contend, for most who must deliver severance news, it is also difficult. Becoming suddenly (as most don’t know it is coming) unemployed can be excruciatingly painful any time of the year, but for many, post-holiday woes are the worst. If you have ever had to cut an employee due to the lack of business, I am sure you felt pain in doing so. I know I have. When able I have sacrificed myself to help ease their pain, but that is not always possible.
One of my favorite people in the whole world lost her Dad, the day after Christmas. Her life will never be the same. Adjustments must be made. And the pain will be felt for some time. All the same, life goes on, with or without you, so the wise thing to do is make decisions that benefit you and those whom you love and get on with living. When losing a loved one, those decisions include how much to allow yourself to grieve. I am not a psychologist, but I have seen people hold everything in and carry the grief inside for years. That doesn’t seem particularly healthy. Sometimes a stiff upper lip causes greater pain down in your heart when some trembling could allow the pain to leak out and leave you. Holding onto pain, as some do, will only cause your progress to be encumbered.
I subscribe to the “Life’s a beach” attitude but sprinkle it with a coat of reality that isn’t what I would consider sugar. That means that I can allow myself to be unhappy about a situation, but all the while be looking to the future for better times. Recently, I unexpectedly lost clients due to reasons out of my control. The losses were painful, and I wasn’t delighted to find myself in that situation. It meant that I had to make some tough decisions that affected both me and others. If you have had those experiences, you know what I mean. It is not easy to see the beach beyond the “bitch” when that happens. So, if you are in that situation either as the recipient or the carrier of bad news you don’t have to keep a stiff upper lip. You can feel sad and angry, discouraged and doubtful, afraid and unsure…for a time. But don’t let it stick to you! Let the lip tremble and keep moving. Life is full of disappointments. That is a fact and not something we can avoid for long. The difference between achieving during adversity is not your circumstances, but how you respond to them. You may react to them with high emotion initially but then, when appropriate if you respond thoughtfully, you are at the right trailhead.
I use the term “keep moving” for a reason. If you stop moving, you will likely get stuck where you are and never get through the mire of your heartbreak or struggles. Singer-songwriter Toby Mac’s “Move (Keep Walkin’) contains these wisdom-filled lyrics:
“Another heartbreak day
Feels like you’re miles away
Don’t even need no shade
When your sun don’t shine, shine
Too many passin’ dreams
Roll by like limousines
It’s hard to keep believin’
When they pass you by and by
I know your heart been broke again
I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet
I know you’re feeling like you got nothing left
Well, lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet so
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet”
Get started! Get a plan and start moving to complete your plan. Perhaps it’s a new life chapter, a new business direction, or a new job. Whatever your case may be, they are all there for the taking. In the reality of life’s inevitable difficulties, make the tough decisions needed to get back to the beach.