Have you ever been mistaken for someone else? Recall that experience for a moment. What are your feelings from that recollection? I recently had that happen to me and it was very unnerving! And mine was not a very significant situation. It was a new acquaintance who barely knew me and there were no innate consequences in the misunderstanding, and yet I was upset by the incident. The other person believed something about me that was not true and therefore their perspective was tainted. They were trying to schedule a meeting with someone that they thought was me and it apparently was a difficult task. They grew frustrated with that person and lashed out at them. That person both was and was not me. Our meeting was already scheduled, yet in their mind, it was still undecided, so I took the brunt of their frustrations on behalf of the person causing the upset. It seems funny now, but it wasn’t at the time. Not only were they upset (with a mistaken me) but I was upset at being wrongly accused. Again, not likely any long-term significance was attached, and the circumstance was minor, so ill effects were small to nil. However, imagine when there are potentially major consequences. Then my big little deal would suddenly become something much more impactful!
People being that we are, we often mistake others’ identity. When that happens, think of the potential damage that can result. Careers, reputations, relationships, and even health can be severely damaged. If you are a manager of a group of people and someone in the group is causing disruption and you think it is someone else, ramifications of actions you take will likely reach well beyond the two of you and spread throughout the group. Think about it for a moment. If you incorrectly assume something and then act upon it, not only will you hurt the unjustly accused, but also likely impact the trust and respect of others within and beyond the team. It is like throwing a large rock into a pool. The waves and ripples will far outreach the circumference of the initial impact of the stone entering the water. Some of the repercussions could be that communication could change in a negative way due to fear and lack of trust in you. Since communication is a critical success factor in any unit: family, business or other, the likelihood of good things genuinely happening moving forward could be diminished.
Maybe a promotion or a raise is at stake and the mistaken individual’s reputation is unduly tarnished, causing them to miss out on an earned benefit. What a shame! Have you ever witnessed or been part of such a scenario? Thinking back, how did you feel then and how does it make you feel now? You may have been permanently affected when the incident occurred and today your attitude and behavior are influenced by the event’s lasting impression. That stone in the pool could have rippled beyond the pool boundaries and reached the edge of a pond. And remember, though referring to a work environment, these same types of occurrences apply to every place from families, to schools, to athletic teams, to chess clubs, to volunteer organizations, to churches and beyond. And by the way, they can also spread from one unit or organization to another. Get the picture?
Knowing that we are all imperfect and make mistakes, you can expect to encounter similar episodes in your life. Therefore, it is wise to not conceptualize a world without mistaken identity and resulting injustice. It simply does not exist. There are two key words to remember during these times: accountability and forgiveness. Mistaken identity is rarely excusable due to its often-careless nature, and accountability is important. Because we know that to be true we need to not only own our mistakes but also to forgive others of theirs. There is freedom in doing both. If we are accountable we can shed the burden of trying to hide something. Along with owning up to mistakes the words “I am sorry” should follow. And the freedom from forgiving someone also unchains the shackles of resentment, retaliation, victimization, anger, hatred, fear and so much more. Forgiveness is as much or more benefit to the forgiver as it is to the perpetrator.
The other side of the coin is when you mistake someone for the one you believe will add value to your life. If you miss that mark, you may be vulnerable to disappointment or a scam. I hear repeatedly of scams involving vulnerable people who may be ill, lonely, hurting emotionally or simply gullible while searching for something they believe the predator will provide them. Unfortunately, there is a great deal of this sort of deception currently taking place. Most of you have probably received a phone call from someone claiming that you are in trouble with the IRS or that your computer is infected with malware and needs to be immediately repaired. And there are many others of the same devious nature.
So, use two other keywords when considering something as being valuable when it may not be: discernment and caution. Discernment often requires asking questions, seeking advice from a trusted source, checking references and so on. At the end of the day, that type of effort could save you from all kinds of damage. And caution is another way of taking a less expedient and more careful approach when considering investing in perceived value. “Haste makes waste” is frequently true.
An error could be insignificant as it was with my instance, but it could also create waves and ripples well beyond its original location to cause greater and lasting damage. The practice of discernment and caution early will help prevent the later need for accountability and forgiveness caused by mistaken identity.