Negotiation without compromise is dictatorial. Therefore negotiating, by necessity requires that both parties involved must win. It is a process by which compromise or agreement is reached while avoiding argument and dispute. So, when negotiating, regardless of whether at home or in your vocation, winning is a two-sided coin. You win, and they win. It sounds like a simple process, but it isn’t!
In John Maxwell’s, The Law of Tradeoffs – You Have To Give Up To Go Up, John examines the reality of making choices today for value tomorrow. In a world where we drive through multiple stations to place an order, pay for that order and pick up the product in about a minute, it is difficult to be patient. It is also difficult to deviate from convenience for something more or better. The easy way to get a coffee in the morning may not produce the best coffee, but it will still be comfortable. Are you willing to sacrifice time to drink better coffee? The fact is, the best coffee will require the most significant sacrifice.
Whether negotiating the purchase of a car, determining what to do this coming weekend with your friend, convincing a child to do something you feel is best for them, or merely conducting self-talk to decide whether to go left or right in your own life, your world is in constant negotiation. That requires compromise and should also include a wish list of what you want and a list of what you are willing to give up for getting what you want. Those are trade-offs, and they contain various truths, including those referenced in The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth:
A. Tradeoffs are available to you throughout your life.
As already mentioned, our lives overflow with negotiations. Just last night, I was to meet a friend for dinner. The restaurant where we were attending was closed for vacation. That is when the negotiation began.
B. You must see tradeoffs as opportunities for growth.
If a compromise is not valuable, then what is it? For me, it is either a lesson learned because of a mistake or being able to obtain something that I want for myself or someone else. In either instance, there is growth.
C. Tradeoffs force you to make a difficult personal change.
1. When you want something you have never had, you must do something you have never done. Alternatively, if you always do the same thing, you will still get the same result. Trying something new requires a new way of going about doing it.
2. Change is always possible, so remember these truths about change:
a. Change is personal. It is different for you than everyone else, so you should be sensitive to your feelings and reactions to change as well as others.
b. Change is possible. As with any goal, it must be possible to achieve, or it is worthless to you. If you can’t do it for some reason, then you are wasting your time trying. Change itself is possible if you have the right attitude and focus.
c. Change is profitable. Not everything you do differently will help you, but if you have a laser focus on a target that is going to help you improve, it is worth the undertaking.
Ask yourself these additional questions that John mentions in The Law of Trade-Offs to understand what compromises you are willing to make:
1. Am I willing to give up financial security today for potential tomorrow? That is called investing. It could be in yourself, your company or someone or something else. There is a risk, but with a higher chance, there is often greater reward because it may be the road less traveled by others and therefore requires less sharing of the bounty.
2. Am I willing to give up immediate gratification for personal growth? When changing business direction, career direction or positional status are examples of wanting something that is not currently there for you and will require work and time to get it.
3. Am I willing to give up the fast life for the good life? Time can compound value, profit, and benefit. Sometimes a “get is all quick” scheme doesn’t have the legs that a solidly executed plan does.
4. Am I willing to give up security for significance? In other words, are you willing to take on the risk of being uncomfortable to make a difference in your life or others?
5. Am I willing to give up addition for multiplication? If you work for an hour for an hour’s pay, you are adding to your income. If you hire others to work for you so that you can expand your operations, you will multiply your income.
In my book Inspired Selling I write that I believe we are all engaged in selling throughout life. Because of that, we undertake the process of negotiating. Moreover, because we should also seek to win, we will be better at life if we are good at making compromises and trade-offs that benefit both sides of the negotiation. Understanding the wish list of what we want and what we are willing to give up to win, will make that exchange easier, faster and more pleasant. Remember that the more we possess, the more difficult it will be to give it up.