I believed that philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche was right, even before reading about the scientific evidence. He said what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – and it seems that scientists have found that although traumatic experiences such as losing a loved one can be psychologically damaging; small amounts of trauma can make us more resilient. I know of no one who likes pain unless a strenuous physical activity is considered pain. Moreover, yet, we all have pain in our lives. It is inevitable if we are alive.
In John Maxwell’s 15 Laws of Growth, LAW 7 —The Law of Pain – Good management Of Bad Experiences Leads To Great Growth; John takes a different perspective that is less scientific, but just as important to understand. Understanding that proper control of dangerous situations and pain can provide significant gain or growth in your life can change your whole world.
If you enjoy difficult times, physical pain, emotional hurt or financial shortfall, raise your hand. Of course not! Heck, I was upset when the Boston Celtics lost to the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA playoffs this year. That slight bit of (trauma) hopefully helped me realize that it is only a game and that there are far more important things to be concerned with in this world and my life.
John contends that “Every problem introduces a person to himself/herself.” That is a bit of a scary thought, but it is true. When tough times come to you, your inner being reveals itself. If you are paying attention, there will likely be something to be learned from that. If not, it may take another similar or worse situation to get that revelation. You have heard the expression “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” That means that you should learn from your mistakes. One of my favorite Maxwell books is Failing Forward. The title speaks for itself and encourages readers to use errors and yes, failures as stepping stones for success.
So, if failure and pain are inevitable, how then should you respond when they occur? It is human nature to either become victims, self-deprecating or in denial of negative experiences. As John points out in his book we are apt to respond in these ways to pain:
A. The pain of inexperience – “I have never been through that.” There is a first time for everything. Get used to it.
B. The pain of incompetence – “I should have seen that coming.” Of course, you should have…you know everything!
C. The pain of disappointment – “I wish it had never happened.” I refer to this one as “regret.” Bummer Dude!
D. The pain of conflict – “Human encounter doesn’t always feel good.” Come on, give me your best shot…I love it! NOT!
E. The pain of change – “I didn’t want that to happen.” I could write an entire blog or even a chapter in a book about this.
F. The pain of ill health – “I lost what I thought I would always have.” Not intended to make fun of this, but I can no longer dunk a basketball or throw a 90-mph fastball. Wait, I never could!
G. The pain of hard decisions – “You can’t make everyone happy.” No “kidding” Sherlock!
H. The pain of financial losses– “If I could only get that back.” Ah, easy come, easy go.
I. The pain of relationship losses – “Some people will grow in a different direction than I.” So that is what happened.
J. The pain of not being number one – “I deserved to be there.” Of course, you did. Screwed again!
K. The pain of traveling – “When I am away, I feel…”. I wish that couple in the next room would i.
L. The pain of responsibility – “They expect so much from me.” Why do I have to carry this team all the time? I deserve a break. I am sure that you do.
So how then can you turn your pain into a gain? Here are a few suggestions derived from the 15 Laws of Growth:
A. Choose a positive life stance. The one thing in life you can control is your attitude. You choose whether it will be positive or not. It’s kind of like picking breakfast between a fruit and vegetable protein shake at home or biscuits and gravy at a fast food restaurant.
B. Embrace and develop your creativity. Writing for me is being creative. You may be a seamstress, a carpenter, a painter, an actor or a skateboarder. I hope you aren’t a couch potato who creatively constructs shrines while drinking beer and eating pizza every weekend during football season – unless you went to the gym first (no offense intended).
C. Embrace the value of bad experiences. If like me, you will have a great deal to reflect on and learn from and then say, “All things work together for the good of those who believe.”
D. Make good changes after learning from bad experiences. Much easier said than done! Often people employ Einstein’s definition of insanity.
E. Take responsibility for your life. Sure, maybe you are a victim of some unfortunate circumstance, but your life is still your only one. It’s a gift. You get what you get and best to try to make the most of it.
If you read my last blog, (Does It Matter If You Have A Strategy?), remember the quote from John Rohn: “You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”
Personal change requires action. When it comes to dealing with pain, you can realize the gain if you maintain a positive life attitude, see your life as a blessing and act to uncover the value beneath the pain. As that great man of wisdom, Forest Gump once said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.” So if you don’t like the first one, you can choose to look forward to the next one.
I believed that philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche was right, even before reading about the scientific evidence. He said what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – and it seems that scientists have found that although traumatic experiences such as losing a loved one can be psychologically damaging; small amounts of trauma can make us more resilient. I know of no one who likes pain unless a strenuous physical activity is considered pain. Moreover, yet, we all have pain in our lives. It is inevitable if we are alive.
In John Maxwell’s 15 Laws of Growth, LAW 7 —The Law of Pain – Good management Of Bad Experiences Leads To Great Growth; John takes a different perspective that is less scientific, but just as important to understand. Understanding that proper control of dangerous situations and pain can provide significant gain or growth in your life can change your whole world.
If you enjoy difficult times, physical pain, emotional hurt or financial shortfall, raise your hand. Of course not! Heck, I was upset when the Boston Celtics lost to the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA playoffs this year. That slight bit of (trauma) hopefully helped me realize that it is only a game and that there are far more important things to be concerned with in this world and my life.
John contends that “Every problem introduces a person to himself/herself.” That is a bit of a scary thought, but it is true. When tough times come to you, your inner being reveals itself. If you are paying attention, there will likely be something to be learned from that. If not, it may take another similar or worse situation to get that revelation. You have heard the expression “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” That means that you should learn from your mistakes. One of my favorite Maxwell books is Failing Forward. The title speaks for itself and encourages readers to use errors and yes, failures as stepping stones for success.
So, if failure and pain are inevitable, how then should you respond when they occur? It is human nature to either become victims, self-deprecating or in denial of negative experiences. As John points out in his book we are apt to respond in these ways to pain:
A. The pain of inexperience – “I have never been through that.” There is a first time for everything. Get used to it.
B. The pain of incompetence – “I should have seen that coming.” Of course, you should have…you know everything!
C. The pain of disappointment – “I wish it had never happened.” I refer to this one as “regret.” Bummer Dude!
D. The pain of conflict – “Human encounter doesn’t always feel good.” Come on, give me your best shot…I love it! NOT!
E. The pain of change – “I didn’t want that to happen.” I could write an entire blog or even a chapter in a book about this.
F. The pain of ill health – “I lost what I thought I would always have.” Not intended to make fun of this, but I can no longer dunk a basketball or throw a 90-mph fastball. Wait, I never could!
G. The pain of hard decisions – “You can’t make everyone happy.” No “kidding” Sherlock!
H. The pain of financial losses– “If I could only get that back.” Ah, easy come, easy go.
I. The pain of relationship losses – “Some people will grow in a different direction than I.” So that is what happened.
J. The pain of not being number one – “I deserved to be there.” Of course, you did. Screwed again!
K. The pain of traveling – “When I am away, I feel…”. I wish that couple in the next room would i.
L. The pain of responsibility – “They expect so much from me.” Why do I have to carry this team all the time? I deserve a break. I am sure that you do.
So how then can you turn your pain into a gain? Here are a few suggestions derived from the 15 Laws of Growth:
A. Choose a positive life stance. The one thing in life you can control is your attitude. You choose whether it will be positive or not. It’s kind of like picking breakfast between a fruit and vegetable protein shake at home or biscuits and gravy at a fast food restaurant.
B. Embrace and develop your creativity. Writing for me is being creative. You may be a seamstress, a carpenter, a painter, an actor or a skateboarder. I hope you aren’t a couch potato who creatively constructs shrines while drinking beer and eating pizza every weekend during football season – unless you went to the gym first (no offense intended).
C. Embrace the value of bad experiences. If like me, you will have a great deal to reflect on and learn from and then say, “All things work together for the good of those who believe.”
D. Make good changes after learning from bad experiences. Much easier said than done! Often people employ Einstein’s definition of insanity.
E. Take responsibility for your life. Sure, maybe you are a victim of some unfortunate circumstance, but your life is still your only one. It’s a gift. You get what you get and best to try to make the most of it.
If you read my last blog, (Does It Matter If You Have A Strategy?), remember the quote from John Rohn: “You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”
Personal change requires action. When it comes to dealing with pain, you can realize the gain if you maintain a positive life attitude, see your life as a blessing and act to uncover the value beneath the pain. As that great man of wisdom, Forest Gump once said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.” So if you don’t like the first one, you can choose to look forward to the next one.