Whenever we do something new, we must decide that we can also act differently. You may argue with that notion but think about it some and you will probably agree.
This past weekend I watched an old movie on TCM, Harry and Tonto. According to Wikipedia, “Harry and Tonto is a 1974 road movie written by Paul Mazursky and Josh Greenfeld and directed by Mazursky. It features Art Carney as Harry in an Oscar-winning performance. Tonto is his pet cat.” And we all know that Wikipedia is always correct. Therefore, I respectfully disagree with the descriptor “road movie”. I will write why later.
The movie illustrated significant focus on Tonto, Harry’s beloved cat and life companion. Tonta was with Harry all the time. So much so that Harry couldn’t fly because he and Tonta would have to separate briefly going through airport security. There goes yet another ticket down the airline drain! He struggled to travel by bus because Tonta wouldn’t urinate in the back-of-the-bus toilet. Oh, the challenges of having that feline friend!
Harry had to leave his home in New York City because they were demolishing his apartment building in favor of a parking lot (what else!). If you have seen the movie, you know that Harry didn’t displace easily from his upstairs apartment and had to be carried down to the street in his favorite easy chair. He was being forced to change, and he resisted with all his might. At his age, Harry couldn’t put up too much of a physical battle and finally succumbed to the inevitable. It was time for him to make a change even though it meant leaving his neighborhood and friends behind.
Sometimes we don’t have a reasonable option available and must accept the change in our lives or businesses even when in opposition. Maybe the cause of the change is by unforeseen circumstances. Other times it is a byproduct of our or other’s decisions or behavior. Sadly, there are also changes dictated by our human physical or mental conditions.
After staying briefly with one of his sons and their family in nearby New York, Harry decided to visit his daughter in Chicago and youngest son in Los Angeles. Because of Tonta, Harry was forced into alternate strategies for traveling. Isn’t that also how our lives and businesses evolve? One day we believe we will live happily ever after. The next day our world can be tipped upside down. So, what then? Give up and curl up? Harry could have done that. Or maybe look for the upside in the upside down? That sounds great doesn’t it? But it isn’t easy.
The first thing that we must do is accept that what has happened has happened. Then we must begin the process of transformation. Hopefully, in all change there is transformation. That is where the difficulty begins. Change is one thing but changing is quite another. Just because circumstances are altered there is no guarantee that we will become different. Surprisingly, that stubborn character portrayed beautifully by Art Carney bought a car and continued his journey to Chicago from New York. He hadn’t had a driver’s license in many years, but it didn’t deter him from continuing. He adjusted and moved forward. Harry was softening his approach and surrendering his stubbornness. He was changing and not just living through change. He began enjoying himself. Enjoying the journey, if you will. That’s a novel thought!
Along life’s road, there are many side trips, bumps, empty tanks, law enforcement agencies, economic conditions and physical challenges. How we respond to them makes all the difference. Transformation is what Harry chose along his road. Not because he had that target from the beginning but because he chose rather than fight it, to make the most of it—to make the best of it. Before he could or you or I can transform, we must first surrender. We must give up the strongholds that are keeping us in our easy chairs in that comfortable (so we perceive) dwelling place we’ve known for so long. Giving that up is never easy. They mugged Harry four times in his last year there, but it was still as he said a neighborhood that “I love”.
Harry had lots of different adventures but finally made it to the west coast. Along the way, he enjoyed dancing with an old friend, the sunshine of Arizona (not sure why he took the southern, least direct route) and some on-the-edge times with a redhead in Las Vegas. What I noticed most was that he stopped resisting and began smiling and enjoying himself more each step of the way, including the last scene of the movie on the beach near LA. But he stayed stubborn about one thing. I wanted to live by himself. That was a goal that he maintained from the beginning.
Stepping out of situations forcibly or by choice may be difficult. But they are not always bad. Particularly if we surrender so we can transform and really enjoy what’s now and look forward to what’s ahead. It could be a beach!