I know someone who lives in a neighborhood where power outages occur a few times a week, lasting almost a full day at times. Not having the ability to use even basic household appliances is a burden, and the residents often voice their displeasure. When I first heard this, my response was ‘I would move out of the suburb in short-order!’
Think of all of the inconveniences that we experience in life. Losing power for days at a time isn’t trivial. I would find it difficult to live in that neighborhood and am certain it would be on my mind a great deal.
You may have heard people say ‘Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you.’ We often say, ‘Yes, of course, we thank God in all things.’ But the reality is that the half-hearted manner in which we say it is contradicted by our grumbling every time the power goes off.
The story behind this power outage is a trash collection truck hit an electricity pole in the neighborhood and brought down the high-tension cables right over several houses. Had there been power in the cables, fatalities would have been likely. Do you think the neighborhood is still grumbling that the power was out?
The difficult circumstances we face can make it hard to be thankful. A 70-year-old Harvard study on Adult Development revealed that those studied thought Social Connections are really good for people (both physical and mental), that Loneliness kills us and that Relationships and Money were the two most important factors in happiness in life. It also revealed that quality relationships as opposed to quantity of relationships are most important. So if relationships or people offend us, we are damaged emotionally and spiritually and our happiness suffers.
When faced with a difficult situation, one of three reactions is a result:
1. We are GOOD. We are simply trying to ignore the offense. Often when offenses are small we react that way and avoid crucial conversations that need to occur remaining in denial that we are bothered. The truth is, even small offenses accumulate until they become a part of who we are. We could become one of those people who ‘flip people off’ or yell and call them names in traffic, but still, we haven’t been affected by the offenses that have occurred. Right?
2. You are BAD. You, the victim of the offense is BAD, so we should be apologizing and deserved what happened. Really? At last check, not one of us is perfect! Whether in a situation with a peer or a series of events, we can’t control everything. Even if we feel like we could have prevented the situation, chances are we can’t.
3. I am STUCK. When stuck in a negative place we lose much of what we have in the way of peace, contentment and happiness. We instead complain constantly like the people in the neighborhood with power outage problems and struggle with relationships in general.
All of these reactions leave you with negative feelings. You may try to figure out why something was done to you. Talking about the situation may seem difficult, but is absolutely necessary for you to overcome the challenges. Freeing yourself of the burden you feel will allow you to gain a new perspective of the situation, and take something away from it. A bad situation, like the community with the power outages, can bring moral down. Understanding the good, and viewing it from a different side can having a lasting positive impact on you and others around you.