Feeling right about being wherever you are today, whether at work, school, on vacation, retired or at home sick?  If not, you will not be alone for sure, but think of the opportunity for improvement that such a feeling presents.

Communication is one of many critical qualities of leadership. It is considered by many as the leading success factor. It matters not your vocation, title, position or current location. Think about this today:   “Those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart.” I didn’t make that up.  It came from the Bible.   

When I think about the things that I have said over the past few days that were not uplifting, it saddens me.  They ranged from hurtful, to degrading to diminishing.  Who am I to have the right or authority to do this to someone who is fully equal to me, another human being? What have you recently said that fits into this category?   

When you consider the cause of what you have said, where you have been or what was in your heart when you said those things, what do you learn?  I learn that my heart was perhaps hurting or that I was afraid of something or angry inside.  Yup, it was me and not “them” that caused the words of my mouth to come from the meditations of my heart.  And my heart was considering only me at that moment.  I was not making an intentional effort to see those people as real people and not objects.  I may have seen them as star athletes misbehaving.  I have often enjoyed picking on those “objects.” And the real reason for my criticism was likely because I was jealous of them.  I may see others as “homeless panhandlers,” making a living begging verse working.  Though I often give them money, I still see them as objects. It breaks my heart and humbles me to realize that fact and admit it to you.  How do you feel when you have that same realization?  Maybe it was an employee, a family member or a friend and not a stranger or a celebrity.   

Watching Tombstone (I love western movies) helped me realize how incredibly profound a line in that movie was.  Doc Holiday, answering a Wyatt Earp question, and referring to why Johnny Ringo did what he did, told Wyatt that “It was for revenge.”  Wyatt asked where the revenge originated.  Doc replied, “For being born.”  That hit me right between the eyes, much like Doc’s bullet between Johnny’s eyes.  I wanted desperately for Johnny to die during that scene.  But I never thought, before Doc’s comment, how desperately Johnny needed something that he never received.  I believe that he needed love. Have you ever felt unloved or unlovable?  I have on occasion in my past, and it was never pleasant or comforting.  In fact, it was painful and sometimes horrifying.  I wonder if any of those people that you or I have said nasty things to have ever had those feelings.  Most times the way people react to harsh criticism is not reflected in their behavior.  Their actions camouflage the sentiments as something different.  Feeling unloved for Johnny Ringo (if that is how he felt) was projected as a man of reckless disregard for the lives of others. A man who seemed justifiably natural to hate and want dead.    

So, as I write this blog, I am intentionally thinking of each of you as one of God’s beloved children, but one (who like me) is not perfect.  And yet, you are not an object!  You are a person of incredible value, purpose, and potential.  Johnny Ringo was a dangerous man, but that didn’t make him any less valuable than you or me.  He was a man and not an object of scorn because he wasn’t perfect. 

Think about your employees, teammates, classmates, family members, friends and those in opposition to your views.  What makes you better than them?  I recently read a Facebook post by an intelligent person who called another person a lying hypocrite.  Come on man!  Which one of us is not a lying hypocrite from time to time?  If you think that you have never been one, you are living in a fantasy world.   

Because that which proceeds from our mouth comes out of our heart, we should examine our hearts and be more careful.  Perhaps thinking first before attacking others when communicating will make a difference in what we say.  I know, some of you are thinking “That person deserves it.”  Really?  Are you sure of that?  Since when did you become judge and jury?

Regardless of our heart or mindset going in, with intentional effort to stop and view everyone we communicate with or about as a real person with something in common with us – imperfection, what we describe could be less destructive. And sometimes, silence indeed is golden.  Saying nothing may be the best communication that we can muster. When in doubt, don’t let it out! With a new approach, perhaps then, the Doc Holiday attitude of “I’ll be your Huckleberry” will turn into something more helpful than a bullet between the eyes. 

Feeling right about being wherever you are today, whether at work, school, on vacation, retired or at home sick?  If not, you will not be alone for sure, but think of the opportunity for improvement that such a feeling presents.

Communication is one of many critical qualities of leadership. It is considered by many as the leading success factor. It matters not your vocation, title, position or current location. Think about this today:   “Those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart.” I didn’t make that up.  It came from the Bible.   

When I think about the things that I have said over the past few days that were not uplifting, it saddens me.  They ranged from hurtful, to degrading to diminishing.  Who am I to have the right or authority to do this to someone who is fully equal to me, another human being? What have you recently said that fits into this category?   

When you consider the cause of what you have said, where you have been or what was in your heart when you said those things, what do you learn?  I learn that my heart was perhaps hurting or that I was afraid of something or angry inside.  Yup, it was me and not “them” that caused the words of my mouth to come from the meditations of my heart.  And my heart was considering only me at that moment.  I was not making an intentional effort to see those people as real people and not objects.  I may have seen them as star athletes misbehaving.  I have often enjoyed picking on those “objects.” And the real reason for my criticism was likely because I was jealous of them.  I may see others as “homeless panhandlers,” making a living begging verse working.  Though I often give them money, I still see them as objects. It breaks my heart and humbles me to realize that fact and admit it to you.  How do you feel when you have that same realization?  Maybe it was an employee, a family member or a friend and not a stranger or a celebrity.   

Watching Tombstone (I love western movies) helped me realize how incredibly profound a line in that movie was.  Doc Holiday, answering a Wyatt Earp question, and referring to why Johnny Ringo did what he did, told Wyatt that “It was for revenge.”  Wyatt asked where the revenge originated.  Doc replied, “For being born.”  That hit me right between the eyes, much like Doc’s bullet between Johnny’s eyes.  I wanted desperately for Johnny to die during that scene.  But I never thought, before Doc’s comment, how desperately Johnny needed something that he never received.  I believe that he needed love. Have you ever felt unloved or unlovable?  I have on occasion in my past, and it was never pleasant or comforting.  In fact, it was painful and sometimes horrifying.  I wonder if any of those people that you or I have said nasty things to have ever had those feelings.  Most times the way people react to harsh criticism is not reflected in their behavior.  Their actions camouflage the sentiments as something different.  Feeling unloved for Johnny Ringo (if that is how he felt) was projected as a man of reckless disregard for the lives of others. A man who seemed justifiably natural to hate and want dead.    

So, as I write this blog, I am intentionally thinking of each of you as one of God’s beloved children, but one (who like me) is not perfect.  And yet, you are not an object!  You are a person of incredible value, purpose, and potential.  Johnny Ringo was a dangerous man, but that didn’t make him any less valuable than you or me.  He was a man and not an object of scorn because he wasn’t perfect. 

Think about your employees, teammates, classmates, family members, friends and those in opposition to your views.  What makes you better than them?  I recently read a Facebook post by an intelligent person who called another person a lying hypocrite.  Come on man!  Which one of us is not a lying hypocrite from time to time?  If you think that you have never been one, you are living in a fantasy world.   

Because that which proceeds from our mouth comes out of our heart, we should examine our hearts and be more careful.  Perhaps thinking first before attacking others when communicating will make a difference in what we say.  I know, some of you are thinking “That person deserves it.”  Really?  Are you sure of that?  Since when did you become judge and jury?

Regardless of our heart or mindset going in, with intentional effort to stop and view everyone we communicate with or about as a real person with something in common with us – imperfection, what we describe could be less destructive. And sometimes, silence indeed is golden.  Saying nothing may be the best communication that we can muster. When in doubt, don’t let it out! With a new approach, perhaps then, the Doc Holiday attitude of “I’ll be your Huckleberry” will turn into something more helpful than a bullet between the eyes.