Growing up as an athlete, I always associated second place with losing, and that was a failure. I fear to fail with the best of you. Those feelings have run the gamut for me, from inadequacy to depression. Our feelings are controlled by our Autonomic Nervous System and are completely involuntary. What we can control is our reaction to those feelings, and what we take away from each situation.
A great example of this for me is in Major League Baseball. Since 2003 the winner of the All-Star game, played between the American and National leagues, has determined home field advantage in the World Series. The National league is 3-11 over the last 14 years, meaning their representative club has had a disadvantage in 11 of those 14 years. You would think that those teams would feel down about their chances, but in those World Series match ups, the National league is 6-8, essentially an even split. Clearly those players overcome that challenge, and realize there is much more to ‘winning the war’ than losing that battle for home field.
So what about when you or I finish second? Does that define us, or can we live to fight another day? Even though my competitive spirit is right now screaming back at me in total disagreement, I contend that finishing second isn’t the end all be all, and perhaps there is even something to be gained from it.
Accepting that we can’t control emotions themselves, it is helpful to know that we can affect our behavior in response to those feelings. In short, we can affect emotions by what we learn and experience in those situations. If we never take anything away from those ‘losses’ then we will always be afraid to fail. However, once we have developed an authentic perspective that allows us to learn from failing, our view of finishing second could change.
In sales, finishing second in a business opportunity means lost revenue and income opportunity for you and your organization. It immediately has a negative impact. So what good can come from finishing second in a sales deal? By learning why it happened, we can take steps to turn weaknesses into strengths, helping us in the future.
As a salesman, I have lost a lot of deals, many of which I finished second. None of those second place finishes ever felt like a win. When I lose a deal, I ask myself why they didn’t choose my product and me. Answers can range from price not being competitive to the product not being used by enough similar businesses. Whatever the reason, I always try to put my emotions aside and perform a loss analysis. Often times I realize a flaw in either my product or approach that I never would have discovered had I closed the deal. In one situation, it was as simple as a change to pricing structure, making it an operating expense versus a capital expense, which would have required budget approval. That change made it much easier for organizations to purchase, and I even ended up winning the deal I had originally lost.
Many variables determine a winner and a loser, so it is critical to dig deep to find the cause. Then, take a step back and work on those things that may have held you back. Remember that failing is growing. Beyond that, where could we find value? Being humbled by losing has an abundance of value and deserves a complete write-up of its own. When deciding whether or not to take a risk, don’t let the thought of failing hold you back. Without risk, there is little opportunity for innovation or initiative for both ourselves and the world around us. Regardless of the outcome, success or failure, there is always something positive to take away. So don’t fear to fail, embrace the opportunity to become a better, more hardened version of you.