If someone asks you what you do, what do you tell them? Do you say to them what your job title is or where you work? You may be a teacher, a salesperson, a manager, a truck driver or a CEO. Or do you tell them what your intended impact is in this world and on people, places, animals or organizations? Perhaps as a truck driver, you inform them that you deliver food to hungry animals and people all over the country. If you are a manager, maybe you will tell them that you help people be more successful and happy with their jobs. That is what you see as your contribution or your value to those people, places, animals, and organizations.
How do you arrive at knowing what value to add to others? I was once a very awarded sales manager. My teams did well individually and collectively. I got rewarded for that with plaques, trophies, money and verbal and written accolades. But that alone did not convince me of the value that I provided others. In fact, I am sure that pride entered my picture and clouded what I was doing for or to my teammates. Pride pushes against being humble and though a noun, the state of being of prideful is much the opposite quality of being humble. Country music artist Tim McGraw recorded a song Humble and Kind. My brother John uses the song title as the motto for living his life. I know that I wasn’t always humble and kind as a successful sales manager. I thank God that I have become more and more aware of such shortcomings through the years. It was never the type of behavior that I intended. Through getting to know myself and working toward improvement, I now see that I add value to people by the way that I think about them and the way that I treat them.
How do you see yourself? Are you a truck driver or someone who loves delivering food to hungry people and animals around the country? Knowing your value requires that you understand yourself. If your identity is wrapped up in what you do, who you know, what you accomplish or where you live, you are likely unaware of who you are. Knowing who you are is critical to understanding the value that you bring to life. Also, if you don’t know who you are, how can you possibly know what you need to do to become who you want to become. You may be completely satisfied with who you are already, but I doubt it. I believe that we all want to improve.
How can you begin to learn who you are? For me, it is difficult to assess who I am and how I genuinely feel unless I am in a quiet internal place. I recently heard John Maxwell speak about being unplugged. He stated that he wants always to be unplugged. Being unplugged is an objective term when it comes to how we are feeling or behaving, so in general terms, it means we are comfortable in our surroundings and reasonably relaxed. John’s comment resonated with me in that I know that I like being in a friendly environment regardless of my circumstances. I believe that people perform better when relaxed than they do when feeling stressed and uptight. Being unplugged is not always readily accomplished, mainly when handling pressure from circumstances or other people. Adrenaline and fear can become obstacles that are difficult to overcome. Being intentional about maintaining a friendly, positive attitude contributes to creating a comfortable environment.
Confident people probably operate in a more unplugged state than those less confident, or somewhat insecure. Knowing yourself can assist with building confidence, especially when you understand that what you do, who you know, what you have accomplished and so on are not who you are but rather what you do or have done. Being in touch with your inside versus manipulating your outside to create appearance, allows you to be more confident, comfortable and unplugged from potential tension. If you are anything like me, living and operating in a more relaxed manner is far better than not and allows you to deliver the value that you want to provide because that is who you are.